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Channel: Anxiety – Making A Way
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Mapped Out

I don’t know if it’s accurate to say that my body – especially my face – is more and more a map of my life, but it feels that way. The permanent crease above my left eyebrow lets me know that my...

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Past Present or Present Past

I dreamed I saw a young woman who had red hair in a long thick braid like my sister used to wear her hair when she was younger. I didn’t dream of my sister – just a stranger. What did that mean?...

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Strangeness

It’s this inbetween-land. Everything looks strange and inaccessible, but it’s also all familiar and available. I think I’m not liking this aspect of human-being. Anger has saved me lately. It’s raw and...

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Sisters Forever

So, what is there to do, after all, when the hard news comes that you knew was coming? You also knew, and held out hope, that sometimes circumstances come together to change momentum’s direction, or...

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Do You Trust Your Instincts?

My instincts told me to answer this writing prompt today – just kidding! Do I trust my instincts? I think the poster meant intuition because humans do not strictly have instincts. The answer is...

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Too Much Information

There’s a pile of papers from several years that have been on my to-do list. I’m an information hoarder. I know it’s illogical – especially today when I can ask the internet pretty much anything and...

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Down Go The Days

I once heard how a goldfish swimming around its bowl is perpetually surprised to find someone looking at it on each go around. I feel like that’s me. Once again, I’m trying to hold myself away from the...

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I’m Tired Of It Too

I haven’t been here in a while. It’s all different, just like out in the world. Pandemic, Epidemic I’ve never been in one before – likely, neither have you. I say likely because there have been some...

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Birthday Wishes

Tomorrow is my birthday.  Birthdays were so exciting when I was younger.  Getting older was somehow an achievement, and I suppose it was, depending on how many risks were taken, or accidents met and...

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Spooky Hallowe’en!

I’m looking out the window at the six inches of snow still on the ground, and it’s hard to get into the Hallowe’en mood.  There are still green leaves on many trees around here, and we haven’t really...

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Cruisin’ Back To School

My son and I rode to Boston this morning.  He drove and I did my best not to be anxious.  I had to trust, yet again, that he was paying close attention.  Even if the potential consequence was a smashed...

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Arguments I Have In My Head

I always have the best come-backs or arguments when the other person’s not there. I get to say what I wish I said, in the way I wanted to say it – without any blow-back or hurt feelings. Conversations...

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Dreamed A Dream

The numbers were coming in for voting and the Democrats were winning big. We were going to be okay. There would be a lot of damage to undo or repair, but we weren’t succumbing to dictatorship. The...

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Highly Recommended

I’m so grateful I found out that, Cannabidiol, or CBD, moderates panic from ingesting or smoking pot. I don’t need or use much, but it has been helping my pain, and some of my anxiety. I use the Endoca...

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Write Now

I have the writer’s nemesis: writer’s block. It’s why I have several half-finished stories. This is a big part of my shame, the parts of me I wish I could surgically remove and join the doer world....

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And That’s How It Is

I’ve been so stuck in the past – as though it’s vital I get back there, as though that’s the only part of my life that mattered, as though now is a wasteland unworthy of notice when it is actually...

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The Bullshit of Aging

Thinner skin, and that’s not a metaphor. Droopy, collagen-lacking, dull skin. Eyes receding into my skull as the muscles grow lax. The free ride was over a decade or more ago, but I didn’t do all the...

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Waning Days of January

It began around January 23rd, and probably before then – building up – but that’s when I noticed the pall overhead and me trying to duck it, unsuccessful again. It begins with dread – or not dread...

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Several Things At Once

It’s one of those nights. I’m both grateful for and disheartened by a good memory. It’s good that I can step back in time and ‘be’ there – kind of like a time traveler – only backwards. It’s not...

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Second Chances

I’m nearly three months sober, and started a new depression therapy two weeks ago: TMS, or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. The therapy uses focused magnetic energy to target the dorsolateral...

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